STR8 UP PIMPIN' FOR 5 YEARS!!

5 Supaslick Years of Xtreme Funk & Moistness!

Dear Pimpsickles!

Yes it's true! Our beloved group of hardcore drunken freedom fighters have now been kickin' it for 5 years of stealth. I kinda had to pinch myself when I realised that this cookie little band of deviants has been throwin down some serious moves and keeping online gaming fun filled for all the fellow gamers we come across (mmm that don't sound right, maybe I should have said bump into). It seems like only a short time ago that I (or my online electronic representation) was standing in the American spawn, NVA Base, getting slapped around like a seal at an orca party! Now I'm doin the slappin, that I think, is what is called progress.

Anyway, down to the matter at hand! It's our 5th Birthday comrades and as you are all aware there's going to be an AGM (SleepO's brainchild) on TS followed by a right royal piss up and the usual shooting of people in the head. I believe this is an excellent way to mark our anniversary, afterall we have been drinking our liver's to the point where they can churn out 8% Beer on tap so why break with tradition. I'm hoping we can move through the AGM stuff quickly, although all points will be taken onboard, pondered, visualized, actualized, synthesized then shat out and used for fuel over the coming months. So remember to get on TS early so we can dispense with the formal sh*t and get down to the real business.

5 years, wooow, I remember the initial stages of the family, me trying to figure out why I was spending every night glued to my monitor, 6 beers in the cooler (sometimes more, infact more often than not more), laughing myself senseless on TS and resembling some kind of otherwise functional crack addict. Our small band of funkbags soon grew, I was lucky enough to be introduced to online gaming by 2 of my best friends who joined the clan str8 away Stitch Jones and Root. Before we knew it we were joined by our very own Webextremo Giorgos (the man who has kept this clan on the net with his fine web design), fixer of all things PC related Big Chinaron (ghost images all the way). Names like Moses ("It's timmme to smoooke guys!"), Scorpio, Simone (Italiaaaa Pimp), Snowball (and his VC boss), Animal (A-NI-MAL) and Wolfie (sirens....."I gotta go guys"), all followed suit and our band was increasing in size.

From there on I bumped into a guy who totally freaked me out, by telling me he was a Rangers fan, loved Buckfast wine and knew the place Airdrie very well. I told him to bolt as he was freaking me out, at which point he introduced himself as our well known songwriter Buckie. Soon to follow were Sir Squadiepants (sleep is overatted or maybe unobtainable) and Senior Mookstable ("Gotta be quiet guys, can't wake the kids"......"BAAAAAAA!!". Solid (our Turkish funnnyguy) and Silvergod (have nades will travel) were next followed by our still beloved Pimp Queen, Maddie (the voice that could turn a drag queen in a sec).

One night gaming previously I bumped into a guy who was hiding my flag, actually I was hiding his flag as he teared the server apart. I told him I was dying for a piss and to hurry up and die so I could score and relieve myself. He told me that I shouldnt hold it in and just soil myself as it was very bad for the prostate. From then on a blood oath was made with our very own Pit (the pilot) Boss. The very talented Bigwave ("I'm only here for the gasoline") joined then two of the funniest guys I have ever met Rangi (Can do drag with gag balls if required) and Major Rose (It's all about the feel of the rubber) stomped into our unit. I used to fold at their uncanny knack of luring angry young gamers into their honeytrap and pickiling their brains with witty anecdotes about all things S&M. Our slyckportuguese pimp ZE** (black PJ's on Banhar) brought some flave to the stage soonafter. At this time I bagged the elephant, yup the most irritating skillwagon, and allround comedy master Japie (AKA "I can't stop shooting people in the head") sold his soul to pimpin. Soon after our seriously laid back (almost horizontal) greatest flagcapper of all time Mr Slata ("Muchachooooooo!"). Our numbers grew again with the addition of Le French Funbuggy Her Sipdeur ("You're such a fooker!"), The Foxman (The man with the patience of a saint, anyone who can drive Moore 200 miles with 2 bottles of bacardi in him gets my vote), Ando (the most down to earth fella and understated genius I have met "Owwww Rothyyyyyy ^^) Godspeed (the fastest fingers in the universe), Muchacho (the fastest shagger, I mean fragger in the universe), Moore (the fastest mouth in the universe), Doccnipples (the greatest laugh in the universe come WeeJockPooPongMcPloP!, and Papi (the most infectious little Greek "more vodka comrade" pimp in the universe).

Phew, this is taking a while, lol. Borizio (Tha Blade) Portugal's finest and Venom (Long Jonn Silva "where are ya Rich?") were next, followed by Boungostaio ("Ciao Rothy") and Bromhexin (Anti's brother). Our pimpettes saw a resurgence in numbers with Inki (the charm), Rizla and her man Brockie, and Athena (biggest TS in the west) coming onboard and Cycopete (Germany's greatest export). Another Belgian came into the fray sometime later, known as PendraneC, a fine fella with grand gaming skill who has moved up in the world and is now a CB admin ^^.

Which I think brings us to where we are at today (apologies to those who didn't get a mention but I can't remember when you joined, even this list is a bit haphazard). So where we at with the current pimpfamily missing out those allready mentioned. I should also add that this list is COD2 onwards so most of these guys have been with the family for a long time (even longer if we are counting time as a member). We got SleepO, owner of the "I've killed Rothy the most times" crown, carrot eating, Man Utd slut, rifle extremo and most solid gamer to have alongside u (Nah f*ck that SleepO, you're just a total tool!). bOrn (a.k.a eFX the man with the plan who has taken all that Rothy taught him and is now taking over the planet), Smil3r (the Daddy who believes in enriching his children's experience by lettin them on TS, Storyteller elect, Mouth Organ master, and allround Swordsman), The Funkzyman (the heartbeat of BRBR), HeadSpless (He's still got it from VC) and last but not least MaSs (the new upstart looking to take the crown). Which brings us full circle!

I'd just like to say folks it's been an absolute fookin hoot from start to finish. From our early technophobe days playing on typewriters, through our development into communicating with words as opposed to hand signals in servers, to our triumphs in VC, COD2 and soon to be COD5, to the gatherings which have been ABSOLUTELY BLINDING (soz Smil3r but I'm totally rippin that off), to the highs and lows of member gained members lost and members still loyal, to the rib snappin laughs, beer spillages, and seat pissing antics on TS, but most of all to each and every one of you! Without you guys none of this would have possible! U! sry WE! ARE BR & BR and everything that has happened from the early days in tha Hot Sweaty Jungles of Vietnam through the Band of Brothers battered towns of COD2, to the complete lack of flags in COD4, to the sweet smell of success in World at War has been down to your friendship, dedication, humour, skill, alcoholic capabilities, and amazing hearts! For this Rothy thanks you immensely and promises to take this family forward into the future with the same ethos of fun, frolicks and str8 up G-Shit that you have all come to know and love.

A BIG DADDY PIMPIN HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TO ALL IN PIMPDOM!!!

WITNESS THA FITNESS!!!

ROTHY OUT! 5000G!